I was thinking the other day about being a little girl and helping my mom and grandma bottle green beans. I didn't mind picking the beans, or snapping them or putting them in the jars, but the pressure cooker scared me to death. Maybe it was the fear they put into me of messing with the little doo-hickey on top that lets the steam escape, maybe it was the constant reminders that I mustn't mess with the lid once it was screwed on and the importance of it being on just right. Either way, I remember giving a sigh of relief every time we managed to make it through a canning season without the pressure cooker exploding. (I don't know if pressure cookers really do explode, but that was my fear.)
Anyway, I've been a little like a pressure cooker lately. My lid has been screwed on tight and a little steam has been released at a pretty constant pace. There has been a lot of pressure building up over the past year or two and overall I've held myself together pretty well...until last week.
"Major meltdown" would be an understatement! It's been a lot of things: I've had much added responsibility added to my shoulders over the past few years and many, many big occasions. Weddings, a missionary, PTA, working, Woodbadge, Trek, Resource Room Missionary, mom responsibilities, worries for aging parents, support for a stressed husband, unemployment, callings, friends and relationships...lots of things. But as this pressure has been building, I've had this underlying fear that I'm going to explode at any minute; that every added thing in my life is like someone messing with the steam thingy and upsetting the delicate balance.
Most of these have either slowed down considerably or been eliminated from my life completely. Some of the others are here to stay, but I'm feeling a little more in control even though there's still much happening in my life and in my mind and heart.
However, I think it's finally time to breathe a little easier. I'm not going to explode and I think it may be safe to open the lid.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Today was the first day of school...still trying to figure out how to post those pictures. Actually I did manage to post them but removed them again because they needed to be rotated and I don't have time to figure it out today. I'm such a beginner blogger; I need some major help and some extra time.
Quinn is now a Freshman, and Courtney is a big 7th grader...hard to believe! Cameron has decided to work, work, work so that he can turn his mission papers in come December or it would have been a first day of College for him.
I had a little "first" of my own today as I was asked late last night by a friend to work a temp job for a few weeks. I still don't know what's going to happen employment-wise for me in the next little while, but for now, I'm trying to reorganize my life as I try doing something a little differently. I've always been home with the kids, so I'm beginning a new phase as well, no matter where the winds of work take me. I'm making lists that the kids will most likely enjoy ignoring in my absence, planning menus and clipping coupons, figuring out carpools and eliminating things from each one of our schedules. I'm like the Tazmanian devil over here, causing mahem and whipping everyone's lives into shape in the process. (I would post a picture...but, you know...)
I had a few random thoughts as I was driving to and from work today. Totally random... but it's funny to me how often they are true:
1-Why is it that which ever car I happen to be driving is the one that is out of gas?
2-Why is it that I seem to be the only one in my home who can change the toilet paper roll? (Seriously, each and every inch of paper has been scraped off the roll and it is just left sitting there...waiting for me. This happens in EVERY bathroom, btw.)
3-Why is it that if I have somewhere important to be in the morning, I can't fall asleep or stay asleep for fear of sleeping past the alarm?
4-Why is it that the one and only time the kids lock themselves out of the house is the one day I'm an hour away and can't get home to let them in?
5-How many times a week is "too many" to have spagetti for dinner?
6-Whatever would moms do without Cream of Mushroom soup?
7-How long should I leave the vacuum in the middle of the family room floor before someone (anyone) decides it should be put away? Or should it be put away? I don't know. Maybe if it's left out it looks like we are just getting ready to vacuum and that could be a good thing I guess.
Just a few ramblings that popped into my mind today....I'm not complaining really, just observing. And actually, on a good day they are kinda humorous.
Quinn is now a Freshman, and Courtney is a big 7th grader...hard to believe! Cameron has decided to work, work, work so that he can turn his mission papers in come December or it would have been a first day of College for him.
I had a little "first" of my own today as I was asked late last night by a friend to work a temp job for a few weeks. I still don't know what's going to happen employment-wise for me in the next little while, but for now, I'm trying to reorganize my life as I try doing something a little differently. I've always been home with the kids, so I'm beginning a new phase as well, no matter where the winds of work take me. I'm making lists that the kids will most likely enjoy ignoring in my absence, planning menus and clipping coupons, figuring out carpools and eliminating things from each one of our schedules. I'm like the Tazmanian devil over here, causing mahem and whipping everyone's lives into shape in the process. (I would post a picture...but, you know...)
I had a few random thoughts as I was driving to and from work today. Totally random... but it's funny to me how often they are true:
1-Why is it that which ever car I happen to be driving is the one that is out of gas?
2-Why is it that I seem to be the only one in my home who can change the toilet paper roll? (Seriously, each and every inch of paper has been scraped off the roll and it is just left sitting there...waiting for me. This happens in EVERY bathroom, btw.)
3-Why is it that if I have somewhere important to be in the morning, I can't fall asleep or stay asleep for fear of sleeping past the alarm?
4-Why is it that the one and only time the kids lock themselves out of the house is the one day I'm an hour away and can't get home to let them in?
5-How many times a week is "too many" to have spagetti for dinner?
6-Whatever would moms do without Cream of Mushroom soup?
7-How long should I leave the vacuum in the middle of the family room floor before someone (anyone) decides it should be put away? Or should it be put away? I don't know. Maybe if it's left out it looks like we are just getting ready to vacuum and that could be a good thing I guess.
Just a few ramblings that popped into my mind today....I'm not complaining really, just observing. And actually, on a good day they are kinda humorous.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Beginnings
This is my first attempt at a blog. Here's hoping I can figure it out and keep up on it. It has become apparent that I feel the need to share what is going on in my world and need some type of creative outlet. Although I would say I'm a realist in many ways, I'm also a hopeless romantic daydreamer who loves to imagine "alternative endings" to many of life's problems--my little way of escape when I need a break from reality. I'll try to keep my musings under control and if nothing else, maybe this will help me feel less guilty for the times I "forget" to journal the happenings of my life. We'll give this a whirl and see how it goes....
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