So...what to choose???

SO many choices for my New Year's resolutions....SO many areas in which I fall short.  Sometimes it's a hard line to try to be better without being too hard on myself.  I tend to get a little over zealous when it comes to these resolutions because I know the real me and want to be better. It's not unusual for me to have a long list that I want to check off from day to day and month to month. 

So, this year I'm going to try something a little different. I've found a few quotes that I'm printing up and keeping close to me as I face whatever 2011 has in store.

 "If what you believe doesn't affect how you live, then it's not that important."
#1-Simply put: I know what I believe and I'm going to be better at acting upon that.

“Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started.”
#2-I have some lofty running/fitness goals for myself this year. I'm going to remember that I started as a girl who has NEVER run and gonna see how far I can get. I can't wait to see how far I get!!

"I See You"
 #3-This quote is FULL of meaning for me, but let's just say that I'll try to do better at looking at people and trying to understand them better and leave it at that for now.

"Every day may not be good, but there's some good in every day."
#4-Find it. Every day.

SO....

"To be or not to be?' That is not the question. What is the question? The question is not one of being, but of becoming. 'To become more or not to become more' This is the question faced by each intelligence in our universe." — Truman G. Madsen

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!

10 weeks......

In conjunction with my new running goals, I'm starting a 10 week no sugar/no carb challenge...starting right   this   minute,  November 23, 2010 4:47 pm--which puts me to Feb 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm, to be exact. I know I can do it, but do I WANT to do it enough to do it??  Dang it!  Two days before Thanksgiving??  How do I get myself talked into such things??

They (whoever the elusive "they" are), say that the best way to commit yourself to a goal is to tell people...so here you go.  I'm telling people.  Actually, at the moment I'm kind of whining about it, but either way, it's out there. 

Ready, set, go! 

"No thanks, I don't run."

I'm starting the "Couch to 5K" program on Monday.  A dear friend from my past and I are going to run a race in February, just a few days before we both turn 47.  Yep!    Me...the girl who doesn't run.....

I'm a little nervous for some strange reason.  I realize that 5K is only a little over 3 miles...no biggie for most people, but remember...I...don't....run.  This is a HUGE stretch for me, and a spontaneous decision.  One day Debi mentioned it to me, the next day I shocked us both by registering.  Done. Commited. One click and a short conversation via email, and I'm off to do something totally new. 

If you are one of the many friends or family members who have mentioned a 5K, 10K or any other number of K's to me before, don't give up on me, I just may take you up on it yet!  I guess it's all about timing. I mean, really, why would I want to run my first race at 37 or even 27, when I can do it at 47?  Somehow that makes sense, right?!?

If all goes well, I'm doing a 10K with Quinn in May, just a day before he turns 15, which means we'll rename that race, "The tortoise and the hare race" because he DOES run and he'll probably run it back and forth at least 3 times in the amount of time it takes for me to finish. But I WILL finish...because....well, I just will!

So, if there's a race around your birthday, let me know and I'll do it with you....but be warned, I'm with the tortoise on this one....slow and steady wins the race.....or at least finishes. 
2011 is the year of the Rabbit.  Apparently that holds some kind of significance to this middle aged tortoise over here, and apparently, I can be talked into almost anything.

F.E.A.R.

I recently had a friend share this awesome acronym with me and it came at a really great time!

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

I'm trying to remember that I can't worry about the possibilities of something happening....nothing is "real" until it happens. So what is it then?? R.E.A.R.?

Yep, that's what I was thinking....

Open Book

Yep, so I'm pretty easy to read. And when I'm not, I tell all anyway. I know that I probably share WAAYY too much, but on the other hand, because I do, I get the support I need.
Friends are my therapy and fortunately I've been blessed with many friends, because apparently I need a lot of therapy!!

Lots of calls and emails from people I would expect to hear from and even some surprises. Diet coke runs, treats, walks, hugs, phone calls, advice, lunches.....just those things that I need to get through a rough spot.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...it's anybody's guess, but today I'm feeling a glimmer of hope because of wonderful people whom I love dearly. I'm hoping the winds of change are shifting. Here's to hoping they are good winds and not "pummel you to the ground" kinds of winds, 'cause I want to start a new chapter, but the pages can't get ripped out of the book.

Tough stuff...

...is just plain tough. And please, if you love me at all, or even like me just a little bit, PLEASE don't share that famous saying with me: "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." I think I hate that saying and the next person who shares it with me is going to get slugged in the arm....hard. Or, they are going to witness some tears, the likes of which aren't often seen coming from me. Either way, it's not going to be pretty.

Just sayin'..."

it's been a "horrible, no good, very bad day"--I think I just might move to Australia.

What a pill.....

Yes, me...and I'm working on it. Truly I am.

I don't think there are many people who would categorize me as rebellious, but I do have a bit of a stubborn streak. Like most character traits, there are positive and negative ways to channel every aspect of our personalities.
One "pro" is that if I want to do something for someone, I will move heaven and earth to make it happen for them. There are few things in this life that make me happier than serving someone, especially if I know it will make some type of difference in their life. One of my dreams is to be able to do something really fabulous for someone anonymously. I've had some really wonderful acts of service done in my behalf and for my family and I want with all my heart to really make a difference for someone. In the meantime, I try to do those things that fall within my current realm....little things mostly, and I'm the first to admit that sometimes little things mean just as much as big things because I am very often the recipient of meaningful small things. Acts of kindness are life's simple pleasures and I thrive off of it. To be perfectly honest, I know I don't do enough which is probably why I fall into this other pitfall.

Sometimes I'm like the "Little girl who had a little curl"....when I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad....well...let's just say, my stubborn side can be quite negative.
I don't know exactly why this happens. My latest theory is that I take things for some time the way they are-- you know, try to be patient and all that. And then, one day, out of the blue, something will happen that quite simply pushes me over the edge. It can be anything, really. A rude or inconsiderate comment, an expectation not being met, someone telling me that I should or shouldn't do something.....and "wham!"...suddenly I dig in my heels.

This past week, someone "strongly suggested" that I make a few changes.....wrong thing to say when I'm feeling the way I'm currently feeling. What's funny is that these are things I already felt I should do, but "someone" said this at the wrong time and suddenly...
"I don' wanna..." ....So, I haven't.... Even though I know I should, and even though I know it could help me get out of this funk I'm stuck in. I know, what a stinker!

The good news is that I'm trying. One of the many things I've been meaning to do is start a "gratitude journal", but for some strange reason I've been struggling with the whole idea. I don't understand why, but I just don't do it. Instead, I'm starting small by finding one thing I love every single day. It's going to be my daily mantra for the next little while.

I'm hoping that it makes a difference in my life and in my home atmosphere, because I realize that my children often take their cues from me. And because I'm discovering more and more that the "parent curse" is real. You know the one: "I hope you have a kid just. like. you."
Gonna do my best to help these little pills of mine channel the "stubborn gene" so generously passed to them by yours truly.